Short answer: only that person knows, go talk to them.
This question is asked daily on www.Quora.com (you can see my account here which has over 31 thousand answer views). The thing is, 95% of the time the right answer is: we don’t have enough information, you have to talk to them to find out.
Let me give you an example of a scenario I get asked about a lot:
“I’ve been out on a date or two with X and they went pretty well. But X doesn’t message me very often in between dates even though we have such a good time together. X even says he/she had a lot of fun! Is X into me or no?”
In common cases like this, there is a decent amount of info to work off of, but there is probably twice as much information that we don’t know about…only X knows. For example, is X a good texter? Are they really busy running a business? Did they get sick that week between your two dates? Did they go travel? Do they give off the “player” or “slutty” vibe?
These are just a few answers I’d need to know before giving a more concrete answer myself. For example, a lot of awesome people are also busy and not good at texting. That could be the easy answer to why they haven’t been messaging you much. Or they got sick. Or a family member got sick. Or on and on.
Remember that you don’t know this information, and you won’t unless you dig deeper and find out.
How To Handle It
If you’re a guy that’s been on a few dates with a girl, or even just one, and the conversation has continued but she doesn’t seem overly interested, you need to shake things up a bit and move it along. It’s your way of vetting whether or not she’s into you, because if she isn’t, don’t waste any more time and move on. Also, most girls will be surprised by the honesty and bluntness.
So, I dare you to send her something like the following message:
“Hey X, I had a great time with you on our last date, and I like to be completely honest and open. I’m glad that we’re keeping in touch, but I just can’t tell how interested you are (which is why texting kinda sucks sometimes). I’d love to go on a second/third/fourth date if you’re interested. Let me know”
Note: keep the brackets IN the message.
Why It Works
You know that saying “love is a game”? I think it’s only half true – love is a game if you make it a game.
Sure, there are elements of love and dating that require you to play the game, but I choose to ignore most of it. I don’t like guessing, playing and wasting time – and neither should you.
That’s why messages like this work. They skip the bullshit and get down to business. If she is interested in seeing you again, she will let you know. If she isn’t, she will either not respond or tell you that she isn’t. Either way it’s a win.
Remember this: you do NOT want to waste time on women who aren’t interested in you. It won’t get you anywhere, and it will take up time that could be spent developing relationships with other women.
Use your time wisely, even in dating.
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